1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,579 My guy is a senior citizen living on a government pension. Your guy works in a 2 00:00:03,580 --> 00:00:06,680 bar. Oh, right, he works in a bar, so let's lock him up. 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,840 Your guy turns out to be a convicted confidence man. 4 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:13,820 So I am suing your department lady and the lottery. 5 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:18,399 You spent two million dollars in 11 months? You always like to play. I wish 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,919 could be arrested right now and locked away forever. 7 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,459 Are you trying to confess, sir? 8 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:24,019 Would you like us to call your attorney? 9 00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:26,999 You let the suspect tip you down? We both agree that he's innocent. Let's 10 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,900 so. Nice doggy. I got a bad shit somewhere. 11 00:02:33,869 --> 00:02:37,370 Oh, this is awful, Christine. 12 00:02:37,730 --> 00:02:41,340 It wasn't just the one charity. I had a whole lot of other receipts in here. 13 00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:43,570 I told you not to do your own taxes. 14 00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:46,030 No wonder you're being ordered. 15 00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:47,230 Thank you, Christine. 16 00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:53,050 I never, ever do my own taxes. Well, you usually have a man to them, but... Yes, 17 00:02:53,051 --> 00:02:54,829 Victor? You're getting ordered, huh? 18 00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:55,880 No kidding. 19 00:02:55,881 --> 00:02:57,509 No kidding. 20 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,560 By the IRS? 21 00:02:58,561 --> 00:03:01,769 No, Victor, they're being audited by the Department of Agriculture. 22 00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:02,820 Hey, 23 00:03:02,821 --> 00:03:04,409 Cagney, I got a question for you. 24 00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:08,080 If you could have any dog that you wanted, what kind of dog would you pick? 25 00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:09,310 This is a trick question. 26 00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:12,640 No, really, the annual dog show at the garden opens this week. 27 00:03:12,641 --> 00:03:16,989 It's just out of my mind. Victor, you've never been interested in dog shows. 28 00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:19,829 Sometimes I'd like to do it. What is this, one of those personality tests out 29 00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:20,769 your magazines? 30 00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:24,429 You ask me what kind of dog I like, and I say, oh, a Doberman Pinscher. And 31 00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:27,729 you'll say, hey, guys, Cagney. Jagney just said a Doberman feature. 32 00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,230 No, no, it's really just for me. 33 00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:30,540 Hey, call me. 34 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,310 Jagney said Doberman feature. 35 00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:40,040 Anyway. 36 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:42,949 What happened with your tax man? 37 00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:45,770 Oh, he got off probation. I moved to South Carolina. 38 00:03:46,670 --> 00:03:47,720 Off probation? 39 00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:50,170 You had an ex -con doing your taxes? 40 00:03:50,171 --> 00:03:53,709 He was a very good worker, Christina. We never got ordered it before. 41 00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:54,760 I was very worried. 42 00:03:54,761 --> 00:03:55,869 Peggy, Lacey. 43 00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:56,849 Good morning, sir. 44 00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:58,310 Huh? Good morning. 45 00:03:58,810 --> 00:03:59,950 Oh, yeah, good morning. 46 00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:03,800 Listen, you two are up. Just took a call about a crime at the lottery office. 47 00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:05,290 I see Mrs. 48 00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:07,669 Burnside there. What kind of crime? 49 00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:10,789 She said she would explain to the detectives when they get there. 50 00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:11,840 So get there. 51 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:13,780 Yes, sir. 52 00:04:13,781 --> 00:04:17,949 Lotteries are held all over the country, all over the world. Why does this have 53 00:04:17,950 --> 00:04:18,949 to happen to me? 54 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:21,360 Bet the state lotteries never had this problem. 55 00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:23,890 Now, what exactly is it that happened? 56 00:04:23,891 --> 00:04:30,269 particular lottery was drawn almost one full year ago and two winners were paid 57 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:35,649 already. Two million apiece. We put out a news release that the time limit is 58 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:41,150 almost up and now these two men are each presenting winning tickets. 59 00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:44,750 So good for them, right? They both get two million dollars. 60 00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:49,689 The problem is there were only three winning tickets printed. One of those 61 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:53,430 men out there is attempting to perpetrate a fraud. 62 00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:12,309 So, then after Charlene died, I had to sell everything, you know, to pay the 63 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,890 doctors, and I moved into the projects. 64 00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:17,370 What a nice neighborhood. 65 00:05:17,371 --> 00:05:18,509 I see, sir. 66 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:21,580 And you, uh, you purchased a ticket at your local newsstand? 67 00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:22,820 Yeah, I must have. 68 00:05:22,821 --> 00:05:26,309 I mean, doesn't it say on the ticket, isn't there a special code or something? 69 00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:29,650 Well, I don't know, but, uh, if there is, we'll check on that, too. 70 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,080 Now you say you got this ticket as a gift? 71 00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:36,850 Oh, yeah, it's a funny story. 72 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:41,430 See, this bar I work in, the glide -in, gets sort of a mixed bunch. 73 00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:43,910 So this guy, his name is Tommy. 74 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:47,210 He comes in a few months back. He has a couple of belts. 75 00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:51,869 And then he reaches in his pocket to give me a tip. Only thing, he's flat 76 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:52,849 -busted, see? 77 00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:57,409 I see. Yeah, so all he had is this old lottery ticket, all gummy and wrinkled 78 00:05:57,410 --> 00:06:02,230 up. Forgot he even had it. Then he gives it to me as a tip, which I saw. 79 00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:05,770 So I got it framed and hung it over the bar. 80 00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:09,630 The worst tip I ever got. Can you beat that? 81 00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:14,260 Oh, it's good. 82 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:15,380 Yeah. 83 00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:19,950 There's nothing wrong, is there, officer? I do get the money, don't I? 84 00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:21,110 sir, when it do get paid. 85 00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,960 But we have to clear up a few things first, all right? 86 00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:25,740 Okay. 87 00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:28,940 Now, you had this ticket all along, and you didn't know it. 88 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,350 It's lucky I never throw anything away. 89 00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,530 Hey, Tommy, do you remember his last name? 90 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,640 Listen, if you glide in and you ask a guy his last name, he don't come back. 91 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,290 Okay. 92 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,100 No last name. 93 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,880 And you missed the drawing on TV. 94 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:49,640 I don't have a TV. 95 00:06:49,641 --> 00:06:52,959 There's one down at the senior center, but I don't like to go down there after 96 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,000 dark. Uh -huh. What about the newspaper? 97 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,490 Well, I had to let my subscription run out. It was too much money. 98 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,400 And I don't have any friends or family even to tell me. 99 00:07:01,661 --> 00:07:05,119 That is a winning number, isn't it? 100 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,800 Oh, yes, sir. It's the right number. 101 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,110 Oh, boy. 102 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,779 You know, I always managed to get by, you know, but, well, 40 years with the U 103 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:17,399 .S. Postal Service, I always thought that would be enough with my pension and 104 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,450 all. 105 00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:20,830 Funny it sure isn't. 106 00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:27,939 Sir, um, forgive me for asking this, but I was wondering, if you have so little 107 00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:31,670 money, sir, how is it that you can afford to buy all these lottery tickets? 108 00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:36,870 Well, it's probably foolish, I know, but no man's got to have a dream. 109 00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:40,880 Yes, sir. 110 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:48,250 Oh, why does this have to happen to me? I'm not a bad person. 111 00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,230 What did I do to deserve this? 112 00:07:50,231 --> 00:07:53,569 It'll work out, Mrs. Burnside. Now, let me ask you something. Don't the tickets 113 00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:57,210 have a magnetic strip on them like a credit card to prevent forgery? 114 00:07:57,211 --> 00:08:01,199 No, that was the old lottery. The new ones just have the computer code number. 115 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,780 That's why this is such a mess. 116 00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:06,219 Wait, wait. Why can't the two tickets be verified on the computer? 117 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:10,840 Because the computer dumped the coding data. I beg your pardon? Dumped. Erased. 118 00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,440 Happened about ten months ago. 119 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:16,819 Oh, I don't know. It was a freak accident. It hasn't happened again. I 120 00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:20,820 was an accident. But you think that they will remember that? Oh, no. 121 00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:23,960 It was my lottery, so it will be my mistake. 122 00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:28,819 There'll go my chances for a seat on the racing and wagering board. The lab will 123 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:29,900 pick up on the forgery. 124 00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:32,979 What will I tell the newspapers? What will I tell the board? 125 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,500 It's not my fault. 126 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:36,609 Of course not. 127 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:43,479 All I said was your guy looked like a weasel. My guy is a sweet old postman. 128 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,530 money's on your guy. 129 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:45,930 My guy? 130 00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:49,919 How much? It's a feature of speech, Christine. You said your money was on my 131 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:50,970 guy. How much? 132 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,360 20 bucks? 20 dollars? 133 00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:55,150 No. Ten? 134 00:08:56,810 --> 00:08:57,860 Five? 135 00:08:57,861 --> 00:08:59,609 Five bucks. 136 00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:00,660 Says your guy did it. 137 00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:05,049 My guy is a senior citizen living on a government pension. Your guy works in a 138 00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:08,170 bar. Oh, right. He works in a bar, so let's lock him up. 139 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:11,200 Five bucks, Mary Beth. All right, Christine. 140 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:13,790 Five dollars says it was your guy. Got it. 141 00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:17,370 It was not my guy. Five bucks. 142 00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:19,670 Oh, what am I talking about, my guy? 143 00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:22,500 He's not my guy. 144 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,540 He's not my guy. 145 00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,080 You know where it is? 146 00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,580 No, they're going to kill us, Mary Beth. 147 00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:38,019 They're going to kill us. Bobby, would you calm down? It's not like we're some 148 00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:42,119 big -time taxi baiters. You don't understand, Mary Beth. These guys, they 149 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,319 us. They are trained to spot the tiniest little mistake, and once they do, that 150 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,370 is it. 151 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,140 What is this? What is what? 152 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,140 MOS, trailer rental law. 153 00:09:52,141 --> 00:09:55,349 Let's move a little office space. The job at the Senate Boulevard. 154 00:09:55,350 --> 00:09:56,730 What? No. 155 00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:00,030 We'll use that trailer for poker on Friday night. 156 00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,430 So? Don't you see? 157 00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:04,480 I mean, the rest of the time it was strictly for business. 158 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:08,909 I mean, if they disallow a deduction this size... 159 00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:13,430 Somebody must have read it. 160 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:16,190 Why would they do that, Harvey? 161 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:19,270 Why? The reward, Mary Beth. The reward. 162 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:23,440 That's how they operate. I am telling you, these guys go for the throat. 163 00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:27,640 Sweetheart, do you think maybe you're getting a little crazy here? 164 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:32,030 I'm telling you, this could be a penalty of $500 or $600 right there. 165 00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,990 Oh, one more thing. 166 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:38,710 When we get there tomorrow, do not put your hands on the chair arms. 167 00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:40,169 Why not? 168 00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:43,609 Because they have little senses in them to measure your skin response to see 169 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,010 whether you are lying or not. 170 00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,450 Oh, no, no, they do, Mary Beth. 171 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:49,990 I heard. 172 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,050 Can't people hold on to their perks around here? What the hell are you 173 00:11:02,051 --> 00:11:06,739 I'll have to call the police. Hey, I'm talking to you. No, you're shouting. 174 00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:09,210 Yeah, I do that when people rifle through my desk. 175 00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:11,490 Now stand up. Who's your arresting officer? 176 00:11:11,491 --> 00:11:13,359 How about you? You're pretty arresting. 177 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,500 Oh, a comment, too. 178 00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,920 Remove the hat and stand up. Say pretty, please. 179 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,520 There's one item missing from my desk. You are dead meat. 180 00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:28,280 You can search me and find out. How about strip search? 181 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:30,870 It's Becky. 182 00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:33,960 Want to put a leash on this one? 183 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,290 Who is he? 184 00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:40,040 I thought he was your perp. Maybe I should introduce myself. 185 00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:41,910 Jonah Newman. 186 00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:43,600 Detective, third grade. 187 00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:45,200 Detective, third grade? 188 00:11:45,201 --> 00:11:47,459 You look like you're in the third grade. 189 00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:48,540 And who are you? 190 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,340 Sergeant Cagney. 191 00:11:50,341 --> 00:11:52,309 And what were you doing going through my desk? 192 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:54,769 What, do you always make yourself at home in other people's squad rooms? 193 00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:55,769 This is home. 194 00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:59,200 Sergeant, I was just assigned to the 14th. I am the new kid on the block. 195 00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:01,560 Lucky us. 196 00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,750 The detective can't even find his desk. 197 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,170 Check it out with the phone. 198 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:09,030 She always like that? 199 00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,730 Nah. Some days she can really give you a hard time. 200 00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:15,880 Hey, kid. 201 00:12:20,121 --> 00:12:26,629 Well, I have to meet Harvey at the Federal Building, 1055, and I'm not sure 202 00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:27,680 about this outfit. 203 00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:29,649 What's wrong with it? You look very nice. 204 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:33,209 Well, maybe I should have worn something older, so they shouldn't think I'm some 205 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,770 kind of a clothes horse. 206 00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:37,000 Loves? 207 00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:40,830 Oh, well, Harvey heard from this fella... Don't ask. 208 00:12:40,831 --> 00:12:44,349 Harvey's really got you spooked about this audit. 209 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,509 Yeah, what are you doing? 210 00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:47,620 Got the lab report on the lottery tickets. 211 00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:49,880 Findings negative. 212 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:54,160 Both exhibits fall within normal parameters for fiber and ink content. 213 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,720 No detectable forgery indicated. 214 00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:00,240 So much for this being a quick case. 215 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,420 Oh, what about the case files on Mrs. Phelps and Costa? 216 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:04,960 It's starting on them. 217 00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:12,490 Oh, there's nothing on Mr. Costa. There's a couple of parking tickets. 218 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:16,310 What are you doing? 219 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:23,160 So now I'm going to have to bet again. 220 00:13:29,820 --> 00:13:31,560 Oh, what do you know? 221 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,720 Yo guy turns out to be a convicted confidence man. 222 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,730 How come you forgot to mention the three to five you did at Dannemora? 223 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,860 Yeah, okay, I served a little time. 224 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:52,600 So did John Mitchell. 225 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,100 A little time. 226 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:01,579 Summary probation in 1969, two counts of fraud in 1970, six bunco arrests for 227 00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:06,459 various confidence games in 1971, eight months in men's hall, and then, of 228 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:09,710 course, there was the long stretch for trying to play the big con. 229 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,020 I never was cut out for the big con. 230 00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:15,000 My best trick was the magic wallet. 231 00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:18,700 I've been clean for 15 years now. 232 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,400 Hey, Big Al, got you here. 233 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:23,110 At this hour, you have breakfast. 234 00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:25,550 You know what that does to your stomach? 235 00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:28,100 You're right. 236 00:14:29,030 --> 00:14:30,080 Scotch milk. 237 00:14:30,081 --> 00:14:32,409 Someone else is going to have to make us drink. 238 00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:34,609 I'm afraid we'll have to take you in. I'm sorry. 239 00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:38,850 Come on, I'm telling you the truth. This guy Tommy gave me the ticket as a tip. 240 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:43,049 Oh, yeah, the famous Tommy, who did not happen to be around to back up your 241 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,100 story. 242 00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:48,250 Listen, please don't do this to me. I got 20 % of this place. 243 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,740 It took me a lot of years of living straight to do it, but I did. 244 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:57,160 Now, finally, I get my lucky break on the square. 245 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,300 You've got to believe me. 246 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,740 Go ahead and make your drink. 247 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,340 What are you doing? 248 00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:16,160 I think you're telling the truth. I know when somebody's lying. 249 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,490 And I don't? 250 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,580 I bet. Besides, we don't even have enough to take him in on in the first 251 00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:23,479 You're a soft touch, Christine. 252 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,220 Yeah, well, don't let it get around. 253 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:28,280 Besides, I got five bucks. 254 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,850 Uh, 255 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,220 just the two dependents? 256 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,030 Until next year. We're having another dependent. 257 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,090 Maybe. 258 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,700 Oh, that's very nice. 259 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,050 I envy you. 260 00:15:50,820 --> 00:15:53,770 Doesn't look like I'm ever going to get married, have kids. 261 00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,990 Nobody wants to date an internal revenue inspector. 262 00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,670 No, I mean it. 263 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,160 This is a horrible job. 264 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,360 People hate coming here. Not us. We got nothing to hide. 265 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:04,840 Oh, now, be honest. 266 00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:06,959 Weren't you just dreading coming in here? 267 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,300 No, no, I mean it's our civic duty, right? 268 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,120 My mother wanted me to be a dentist, but I couldn't. 269 00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:14,759 Couldn't stand the thought of hurting people. 270 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,859 So I got a degree in accounting and I applied to the government for a nice 271 00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:18,910 secure desk job. 272 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,070 They put me here. 273 00:16:20,071 --> 00:16:25,119 You know the people who were in here just before you, sitting right there, 274 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,679 know what they told me? What's that? 275 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,300 Told me they said, this is like pulling teeth. 276 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,000 Isn't that something? 277 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,390 Irony. 278 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:35,199 Well, it's been pretty painless for us. 279 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,250 So far. 280 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,680 Now, let's see. 281 00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,190 Mrs. Lacey is a police detective. 282 00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:46,870 That's a very interesting job. 283 00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:48,310 People like policemen. 284 00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:50,070 Criminals don't like us. 285 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,610 No, I guess not. 286 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:56,309 Then they dread meeting you as much as people dread meeting me, huh? I'm in the 287 00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,449 construction business. 288 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,670 Oh, that's a very interesting job. 289 00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:03,230 Lots of places to take deductions with that job. 290 00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:07,529 You can hide all kinds of expenses, and there's almost no way to verify the 291 00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:09,240 cost. No, no, no, no, Mr. 292 00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:12,879 Bittenberger. Bender. Bender. Thank you. I thought I had all those receipts. I 293 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,950 mean, I really want to pay every penny I owe to the government. 294 00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:19,750 Well, but you don't want to pay any more than you owe, do you? I don't mind. 295 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:26,900 No, no, I mean... Bittenbender. 296 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,120 You seem very nice, Palmer. 297 00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:31,780 That was an act, Mary Beth. 298 00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:35,059 This is just the first interview. Wait till the next time. 299 00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:36,440 That's when we see the teeth. 300 00:17:36,441 --> 00:17:38,809 He didn't say anything about another interview. 301 00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:41,100 Let the matador tell the bull about the sword. 302 00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:44,060 What's the matter? 303 00:17:45,090 --> 00:17:46,140 Me. 304 00:17:50,890 --> 00:17:52,330 What? Come on. 305 00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,130 We're going to play post office. 306 00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:04,340 I was thinking of getting Betty a dog. She likes the shaggy bat mat kind. 307 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:05,620 Those are okay. 308 00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:07,480 Annual canine classic. 309 00:18:07,481 --> 00:18:10,919 Hey, Victor, maybe I'll go with you. Oh, you'd probably be bored. No, I love 310 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:11,959 dogs, really. 311 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,019 Let me explain to you another way, Coleman. 312 00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,160 If you want to go, go. 313 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,560 But I am going alone. 314 00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:19,820 That way I can leave whenever and with whoever I want. 315 00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:23,559 Got it? Oh, I get it. You're afraid maybe I'm going to cramp your style, is 316 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,740 it? Not cramp, Coleman. 317 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,450 Kill. 318 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,650 Why is your partner's owners in dog shows all of a sudden? 319 00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:35,910 He says dogs shows are the place to meet a better rate of chicks. 320 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,400 That was a direct quote. 321 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,610 Was there a pocket? 322 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,380 He was? 323 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:43,470 An engraver. 324 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,280 The tax guy was an engraver? 325 00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,560 What? No, my guy. 326 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:50,760 Wait a minute, what guy? 327 00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:54,079 We were at the federal building, and I saw this sign for the personnel 328 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,899 department. Yeah? Old Mr. Costas. He's retired from the postal service, all 329 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:01,640 right. But what he actually did was, he's a master engraver. 330 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,590 Your kid? No. 331 00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:08,269 He's even kind of famous there. He was really good. He did this one stamp 332 00:19:08,270 --> 00:19:12,769 a bird, and it's so real that it seems to turn its head and looks at you 333 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:13,669 wherever you go. 334 00:19:13,670 --> 00:19:16,320 They got it there in a case. It's really kind of creepy. 335 00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:17,750 Does that mean I won? 336 00:19:17,751 --> 00:19:20,809 Yeah, well, we've been looking for someone who could forge a lottery ticket 337 00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:24,360 well, the lottery guys themselves couldn't spot the forgery, right? 338 00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:26,920 Nice. 339 00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:30,190 Real nice. 340 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,200 Sergeant Cagney, 14. 341 00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:39,140 Wait a minute. We slow down a minute? 342 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,630 Who? 343 00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:43,480 The ticket's locked up. 344 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,610 Who's got a gun? 345 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,270 Wait. Hello? 346 00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:51,110 Hello? 347 00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:54,300 He hung up. Oh, my guy. 348 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:06,080 Okay. We got a hostage coming out. 349 00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:08,100 He's clear. Get him. Go. 350 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,400 Come on. Come on. 351 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,900 That's the last customer, sir. 352 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,640 Roger. Last customer's out. 353 00:20:18,641 --> 00:20:23,379 He let the customers go, but he says the bartender owes him. He's got a gun, and 354 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:25,670 he's going to kill Phelps if he doesn't pay up. 355 00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,470 His name's Tommy. 356 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,140 He gave Phelps a $2 million lottery ticket as a tip. 357 00:20:31,450 --> 00:20:33,010 I'll tell them you're coming in. 358 00:20:33,011 --> 00:20:35,469 I'm going to start two female detectives in there. 359 00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:36,520 Watch the windows. 360 00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:25,020 good to you this way, is it, Tommy? 361 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,320 He said they'd have the ticket. They do. 362 00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:29,980 Now, let's just keep calm, pal. 363 00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:34,520 I'm Mary Beth Lacey. Mr. Van Dusen. Everybody calls me Tommy. 364 00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:36,000 It's my ticket. 365 00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:40,579 I bought it, and I gave it to him in lieu of a tip. It's only fair I should 366 00:21:40,580 --> 00:21:42,540 half. He owes me. 367 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,400 Tommy, what happens now? 368 00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:51,600 Well, I get the ticket, see? 369 00:21:53,959 --> 00:21:56,849 Then I'll tear it in half and then we'll have to cooperate. 370 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,280 Cooperate with that? 371 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:13,039 I thought that was a pretty convincing corroboration for 372 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,090 my guy's story. 373 00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:18,479 I already gave you the five bucks, Christine. And how do we know it wasn't 374 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,379 -up job? 375 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:23,170 Tommy just had his head split open. Two million dollars buys a lot of sisters. 376 00:22:23,390 --> 00:22:24,950 Don't be a sore loser, Mary Beth. 377 00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:27,250 As we both know, he was your guy. 378 00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,080 Let's not figure. 379 00:22:31,710 --> 00:22:33,210 Who's going to look after him? 380 00:22:33,510 --> 00:22:36,400 Maybe you should have thought of that before, Mr. Carcass. 381 00:22:36,550 --> 00:22:39,140 Well, I don't understand what all the fuss is about. 382 00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:42,460 Well, you did try to defraud the lottery out of $2 million. 383 00:22:42,870 --> 00:22:45,130 I just made the ticket. I didn't get any money. 384 00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,360 I'm afraid you're missing the point, sir. 385 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,500 Where's the harm? 386 00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:52,770 No, no, no, no, no, Maxie, be still. It's all right. 387 00:22:54,009 --> 00:22:56,910 And the money was just sitting there. I didn't even get any. 388 00:22:58,870 --> 00:23:02,000 Well, I think we're going to have to go downtown, Mr. Carstairs. 389 00:23:02,910 --> 00:23:04,950 But who's going to take care of Maxie? 390 00:23:09,990 --> 00:23:11,550 Good afternoon, Mrs. Burnside. 391 00:23:12,210 --> 00:23:13,770 Well, that was certainly quick. 392 00:23:13,771 --> 00:23:17,849 Quick? Ma 'am, I just this minute put down the phone from calling your office. 393 00:23:17,850 --> 00:23:18,990 Didn't they reach you? 394 00:23:19,290 --> 00:23:21,030 No, they didn't. Is there a problem? 395 00:23:27,050 --> 00:23:28,100 You see that man? 396 00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:33,180 Just when I think there's nothing else that can go wrong, he walks in with 397 00:23:34,090 --> 00:23:35,590 Another winning ticket. 398 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,759 His name is Hank Stevens, and, Hobbs, you wouldn't believe it. Even the 399 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,360 staff call him Hard Luck Hank. 400 00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:09,139 Wait a minute, what is so tough about winning the lottery? 401 00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:13,439 No, honey, here's a guy that leaves his lawyer's office after filing for divorce 402 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,919 and buys himself a lottery ticket to cheer himself up, and as he's walking 403 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:22,859 from the newsstand, gets hit by a crosstown bus and winds up for three 404 00:24:22,860 --> 00:24:23,910 a coma. 405 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,060 So that's not funny. Okay, did you check all this out? 406 00:24:27,380 --> 00:24:29,480 Yeah, happened just the way he said. 407 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,610 The vendor remembered him because of the ambulance. 408 00:24:32,660 --> 00:24:33,840 No, he's a witness. 409 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,020 And the inventory of his property at the hospital shows the lottery ticket. 410 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,080 Yes. Okay, so at least he is in the clear. Am I right? 411 00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:44,180 Well, yeah, but somebody else still forged the ticket. 412 00:24:44,181 --> 00:24:45,999 You eliminated the bartender? 413 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,839 No one is eliminated, Harvey. It's a matter of finding a forger. Yes, you 414 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,660 already found your forger. One. One forger. 415 00:24:53,540 --> 00:24:56,970 So the thing with Tommy could have been a put -up job, but I don't know. 416 00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:58,960 Okay, so what now? 417 00:24:58,961 --> 00:25:03,719 Well, tomorrow we go and check out the first two winners. Maybe one of them is 418 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:04,770 fishing. 419 00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,810 But they've already been paid. Isn't it a little late? 420 00:25:08,780 --> 00:25:13,240 Yes. I think it's the guy in the hospital. 421 00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:15,080 His alibi is too perfect. 422 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,230 Honey, that's what a perfect alibi means, that you didn't do it. 423 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,460 Yes, but nevertheless... Five dollars. 424 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:23,870 You're on. 425 00:25:23,871 --> 00:25:27,739 Let me ask you a question. What would you do if you won two million dollars? 426 00:25:27,740 --> 00:25:29,180 First, I'd take care of taxes. 427 00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:34,309 Then $250 ,000 each into trust funds for the boys. And a separate fund for the 428 00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:36,310 baby at $300 ,000 because of inflation. 429 00:25:36,770 --> 00:25:41,210 And $100 ,000 into blue -chip securities. $100 ,000 into bonds. 430 00:25:41,530 --> 00:25:42,770 State, not city. 431 00:25:43,090 --> 00:25:45,970 And another $100 ,000 into a real solid mutual. 432 00:25:46,270 --> 00:25:47,320 Then we buy a house. 433 00:25:47,590 --> 00:25:48,850 Outright. No mortgage. 434 00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:53,149 And then the rest into a pension fund for the two of us, except maybe $2 ,000, 435 00:25:53,150 --> 00:25:54,390 $3 ,000 mad money. 436 00:25:55,010 --> 00:25:56,060 You sure? 437 00:25:57,530 --> 00:25:59,700 Okay. Hey, I thought about it. So? 438 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,160 Come here. What? 439 00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:02,440 Please, sit down. 440 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,210 Please. 441 00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:07,560 Let me put it a different way. 442 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,680 What would you do with $600? 443 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,650 Six... Oh, I don't know, Harvey. That's an entirely different thing. 444 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,380 What? What are you smiling at? 445 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,120 There ain't no day to tell you. 446 00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:22,310 Results of the audit. 447 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,920 I found out this afternoon. We are getting back a $600 tax refund. 448 00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,669 Refunds? Yes. 449 00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:30,720 That's amazing. Yes. 450 00:26:30,721 --> 00:26:34,949 You're sure it isn't some kind of a trick? No, no trick. This is the first 451 00:26:34,950 --> 00:26:37,449 this year they are giving money back. The guy, Bittenberger. 452 00:26:37,450 --> 00:26:40,589 Bender. He said he was going to cost them his job. Oh, the poor man. No, no, 453 00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:44,020 he's happy for it. He wants to get into a different line of work anyway. 454 00:26:45,930 --> 00:26:46,980 One free dollar. 455 00:26:48,770 --> 00:26:55,689 And, of 456 00:26:55,690 --> 00:26:58,460 course, Harvey wants to spend all the money right away. 457 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,360 Well, why not? It's found money. 458 00:27:00,361 --> 00:27:03,939 Well, it's easy for you to think like that, Christine. You've got the trust 459 00:27:03,940 --> 00:27:05,360 and all. I can't be like that. 460 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,339 Be like what, Mary Beth? It's only $600. You can spend more than that on a TV 461 00:27:09,340 --> 00:27:11,220 set. No, I can't. 462 00:27:11,221 --> 00:27:15,219 We need every penny, Christine. I've got another kid on the way. That's a major 463 00:27:15,220 --> 00:27:17,140 expense. That keeps on being expensive. 464 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,120 What does Harvey want to buy? 465 00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:23,480 Oh, he wants to hire a babysitter and go to the Poconos for the weekend. 466 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,950 You know, rent a cab and see the shows, like we did nine months before Hoff Jr. 467 00:27:28,140 --> 00:27:29,460 was born. Well, that's nice. 468 00:27:30,780 --> 00:27:32,100 Actually, he's got a point. 469 00:27:32,101 --> 00:27:35,999 You know, I mean, when a new baby comes, you can't go out for a while, like a 470 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:36,939 couple years. 471 00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:37,979 So go. 472 00:27:37,980 --> 00:27:40,760 No, I can't. I can't. 473 00:27:40,761 --> 00:27:45,139 When I was growing up, we didn't have any money. And I don't know, the thing 474 00:27:45,140 --> 00:27:47,440 about money is maybe too deep in me. 475 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,090 I don't know. 476 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,550 Harvey was so excited about maybe going somewhere. 477 00:27:54,180 --> 00:27:56,540 And I'd love to see him like that. He'd be so cute. 478 00:27:59,740 --> 00:28:03,170 And then I got to thinking that I haven't seen him like that for a long 479 00:28:07,300 --> 00:28:08,480 Oh, there he is. 480 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,010 Nice house. 481 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,010 She was the first one to claim the prize, right? 482 00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:23,070 Yeah. 483 00:28:23,140 --> 00:28:24,190 Yeah. 484 00:28:25,740 --> 00:28:26,790 Yes? 485 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,220 Mrs. Alberta Edwards? 486 00:28:29,420 --> 00:28:33,800 You're the detective, sir? Yes, I'm Sergeant Cagney. This is Detective 487 00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:35,200 May we come in, please? 488 00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:45,920 We've been waiting 45 minutes. 489 00:28:47,140 --> 00:28:50,060 This is Mr. Irwin Elias, my attorney. 490 00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:52,260 I asked him to be here. 491 00:28:52,830 --> 00:28:57,409 Since the lottery commission attached Mrs. Edwards' property, we feel it may 492 00:28:57,410 --> 00:29:00,350 turn into a matter that will require some litigation. 493 00:29:00,351 --> 00:29:05,469 Oh, believe me, ma 'am, this is the first we heard about attaching property. 494 00:29:05,470 --> 00:29:06,850 It hardly matters, does it? 495 00:29:07,110 --> 00:29:11,009 The fact remains that everything my client owns has been frozen by the 496 00:29:11,010 --> 00:29:13,290 until such time as the matter is resolved. 497 00:29:13,990 --> 00:29:19,969 In plain English, every hour, every day that this mess remains unsolved, you're 498 00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:21,020 hurting my family. 499 00:29:21,021 --> 00:29:24,519 Well, Mrs. Edwards, we're trying to clear that up now. Don't you understand? 500 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:25,800 have no money. 501 00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:30,599 And even if I could get my old job back, it will take my yearly salary to meet 502 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:31,800 my new monthly expenses. 503 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:37,020 So I am suing your department, ladies, and the lottery. 504 00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:42,500 Nice talking with you. 505 00:29:51,661 --> 00:29:58,749 Don't you see, ma 'am, this business of attaching everything belonging to the 506 00:29:58,750 --> 00:30:02,529 suspect isn't exactly making our investigation any easier. Not my fault. 507 00:30:02,530 --> 00:30:06,049 board decided on that. Nobody even asked me. I'm a woman, so I don't get asked 508 00:30:06,050 --> 00:30:06,909 my opinion. 509 00:30:06,910 --> 00:30:10,529 Well, we have two tickets already paid, and then we have for Mr. Stevens, the 510 00:30:10,530 --> 00:30:12,690 bus victim, and the ex -con bartender. 511 00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:13,940 One of them is dirty. 512 00:30:13,941 --> 00:30:17,469 And, Les, there has been an error. Now, could you have printed up four winning 513 00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:19,109 tickets instead of three by mistake? 514 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:22,669 No. The printing of the tickets is done by the computer, and it's very closely 515 00:30:22,670 --> 00:30:25,200 guarded, almost as tightly as the drawing itself. 516 00:30:25,639 --> 00:30:27,379 Well, then what about the drawing? 517 00:30:27,380 --> 00:30:29,299 Could someone have rigged the numbers in advance? 518 00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:30,720 Don't even think that! 519 00:30:31,420 --> 00:30:36,979 There are four sets of balls. They are weighed and sealed under our eyes in 520 00:30:36,980 --> 00:30:40,419 those of an independent auditing firm before and after, and then the drawing 521 00:30:40,420 --> 00:30:41,760 held on live television. 522 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,779 Actually, there was one case of a man trying to palm the balls. He was an 523 00:30:46,780 --> 00:30:50,139 amateur magician, but that was before I came here. That had nothing to do with 524 00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:52,860 me. Well, no one is blaming you, Mrs. Burnside. 525 00:30:52,861 --> 00:30:55,999 Ha! That's what you think. The Racing and Wagering Commission is going to have 526 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,050 my head for this. 527 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,920 I hate this. 528 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,490 I should have taken that job with luxury cruises. I'd have gotten free travel. 529 00:31:04,420 --> 00:31:07,070 Well, ma 'am, I'm afraid we're back to one of the four. 530 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,280 Mrs. Edwards, Mr. 531 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:12,900 Stevens, Mr. Phelps, and Mr., um, what is the other guy's name? Mr. Sycamore. 532 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:14,920 Hey, call me Claude. 533 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:16,700 All right, Claude. 534 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,520 Listen, uh, can I get you ladies something, maybe, huh? 535 00:31:20,860 --> 00:31:22,120 Uh, no, not for me, thanks. 536 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,950 You know, there's been a little mix -up with the lottery. 537 00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:29,340 Doesn't affect me much, though, does it? 538 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,180 You haven't gotten the court order yet? 539 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:33,740 No. What for? 540 00:31:34,380 --> 00:31:37,760 Well, it's very likely that you will be getting such an order. 541 00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:44,199 I'm afraid that the lottery is attaching all of the money and the property of 542 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:45,580 the winning ticket holders. 543 00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:57,040 It's true. 544 00:31:57,780 --> 00:31:58,920 Who cares? 545 00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:01,500 Now, this is very serious, Mr. Sycamore. 546 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,960 I haven't got it anymore. 547 00:32:04,260 --> 00:32:06,500 I haven't got it. 548 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,080 Hey, hey, Sally. 549 00:32:10,340 --> 00:32:14,060 Here, girl. You haven't met my Sally. 550 00:32:16,970 --> 00:32:18,350 Look at those big brown eyes. 551 00:32:18,570 --> 00:32:20,150 Is this a face? Is this a face? 552 00:32:20,151 --> 00:32:24,349 Very cute. If we could get back to the money, Mr. Sycamore. You know, this dog 553 00:32:24,350 --> 00:32:25,369 is a champion. 554 00:32:25,370 --> 00:32:27,850 But don't tell her. I mean, you know how stars get. 555 00:32:28,750 --> 00:32:31,590 About the money. You're kidding, aren't you? No. 556 00:32:32,230 --> 00:32:33,930 I spent it. 557 00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:37,710 You spent $2 million in 11 months? 558 00:32:37,970 --> 00:32:42,009 It didn't take that long. You see, after taxes, which are heavy because I took 559 00:32:42,010 --> 00:32:43,060 this all in one lump. 560 00:32:43,610 --> 00:32:47,510 Well, there were bills and business loans and debts. 561 00:32:47,810 --> 00:32:52,010 Most of it went on wine, women, and song, I guess you'd say. 562 00:32:52,250 --> 00:32:59,089 The rest was... The rest was 563 00:32:59,090 --> 00:33:00,140 wasted. 564 00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,930 Oh, but we had some fun. 565 00:33:03,290 --> 00:33:05,390 We had some fun, didn't we? 566 00:33:06,410 --> 00:33:07,460 Sweet. 567 00:33:10,419 --> 00:33:14,480 I'm agonizing over $600. He sits there smiling over how he blew $2 million. 568 00:33:14,481 --> 00:33:18,939 Well, it's not as bad as he said it first. I mean, he built up that little 569 00:33:18,940 --> 00:33:20,940 company. What was that cutesy name? 570 00:33:22,020 --> 00:33:23,070 Wannabite Industry. 571 00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:25,880 Could have been a strong thing. He just had bad luck. 572 00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:27,880 Yeah, but he doesn't even care. 573 00:33:28,020 --> 00:33:29,070 That's what kills me. 574 00:33:29,071 --> 00:33:33,619 Like, I don't know, maybe it's not such a bad attitude to have. What are you 575 00:33:33,620 --> 00:33:34,880 going to do, cry about it? 576 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,350 What's the matter with you, Christine? It's $2 million. 577 00:33:38,351 --> 00:33:41,519 All right, Beth, remember that TV series, The Millionaire? 578 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,310 It is an example of how that kind of money can sometimes ruin people's lives. 579 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,300 Listen, at least this guy enjoyed it. 580 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,500 You like this man. 581 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,560 Oh, you always like this lady. 582 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,990 You notice that? That is not true, Mary Beth. 583 00:33:58,520 --> 00:33:59,570 Just being here. 584 00:34:10,190 --> 00:34:11,240 How are you, sir? 585 00:34:12,730 --> 00:34:14,410 How's the investigation coming? 586 00:34:14,730 --> 00:34:16,840 It's progressing, sir. Are you all right? 587 00:34:17,409 --> 00:34:19,209 It's like a nightmare that won't end. 588 00:34:19,469 --> 00:34:21,269 I don't know how much more I can stand. 589 00:34:21,670 --> 00:34:23,389 Well, why don't you sit down, Mr. 590 00:34:23,610 --> 00:34:24,660 Stevens? Thank you. 591 00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:29,850 I wish I could be arrested right now and locked away forever. 592 00:34:29,851 --> 00:34:35,448 Mr. Stevens, are you trying to confess, sir? Would you like us to call your 593 00:34:35,449 --> 00:34:38,219 attorney? A lawyer. That's all I need is another lawyer. 594 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,010 Court order? 595 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,680 You know about the court order? 596 00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:47,350 Yes, sir, we do. 597 00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:55,579 Well... On top of 598 00:34:55,580 --> 00:34:58,860 that, my ex -wife is trying to get her hands on the prize money. 599 00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:04,520 Her lawyer said that I owned the ticket before the divorce became final. Oh. 600 00:35:04,860 --> 00:35:11,779 And I, uh... I can't cash a 601 00:35:11,780 --> 00:35:12,830 check. 602 00:35:13,100 --> 00:35:14,160 I got zero credit. 603 00:35:16,420 --> 00:35:17,960 I can't find my medicine. 604 00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:21,290 I'm hungry. 605 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,600 I've been locked out of my apartment. 606 00:35:24,740 --> 00:35:31,119 So if I was arrested, at least I could eat and have a place to sleep until the 607 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:32,460 investigation is over. 608 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,220 I was wondering... 609 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,340 Some kind of minor crime I could commit. 610 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,200 Just a small one. 611 00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:57,339 Okay, I just got off the phone with the woman from the lottery. 612 00:35:57,340 --> 00:36:01,119 Mrs. Bernstein. Yeah, and she got word back from that computer company upstate. 613 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:05,879 And? And she said that this time it is as conclusive as you can get. The first 614 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,480 ticket, the woman called Mrs. 615 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,330 Alberta Edwards. 616 00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:14,280 presented her ticket before there was that computer screw -up. 617 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:15,610 Dump. What? 618 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:21,420 Dump. It's computerese, Lieutenant, meaning a massive discharge of memory. 619 00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:24,440 Mrs. Berntheit explained that to us. 620 00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:26,150 Dump. 621 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:31,559 Sorry. Anyway, the point is that her ticket was the only one of the five 622 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,420 that was able to be computer verified. 623 00:36:33,421 --> 00:36:34,549 And it was. 624 00:36:34,550 --> 00:36:37,909 So she is in the clear. Oh, that's good. I'm glad, sir. Yeah, I'm glad that 625 00:36:37,910 --> 00:36:41,049 you're glad, Lacey. We are delighted. We got no case here. Oh, no, what I meant 626 00:36:41,050 --> 00:36:44,609 was, sir, that I'm glad Mrs. Edwards has been eliminated because that narrows 627 00:36:44,610 --> 00:36:46,900 the list of our possible suspects, sir. Right. 628 00:36:47,090 --> 00:36:48,140 So run it down. 629 00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:52,369 Well, with Mrs. Edwards eliminated, we're looking at the bartender, the 630 00:36:52,370 --> 00:36:55,829 jersey who already spent the money, and hard luck, Hank. Who? Mr. Stevens. 631 00:36:55,830 --> 00:36:57,820 I hope it's not him. I loaned him 50 bucks. 632 00:36:57,821 --> 00:37:01,049 You like the suspect $50? No, well, actually, that was my fault. Well, we'll 633 00:37:01,050 --> 00:37:04,929 the judgment call, Lieutenant. We both agree that he's in it. Let's hope so. I 634 00:37:04,930 --> 00:37:06,569 got a gut feeling it's the flake, sir. 635 00:37:06,570 --> 00:37:10,050 Nope. Now I think it was the bartender. The bartender? He was your guy. 636 00:37:10,370 --> 00:37:13,470 Unless it was Claude. Wait, is Claude the flake? Yes, sir. 637 00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:15,310 No, he's not a flake, Lieutenant. 638 00:37:15,311 --> 00:37:19,329 Different. Yeah, a different flake. And anyways, the bartender had Tommy to back 639 00:37:19,330 --> 00:37:21,009 him up. Yeah, I think that was a set -up job. 640 00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:24,269 That's what I said, Christine. Anyways, Tommy is in jail. Yeah, but it's his 641 00:37:24,270 --> 00:37:27,229 first offense, Mary Beth. What the judge is going to do is slap his wrist, 642 00:37:27,230 --> 00:37:30,649 charge him a few bucks. He gets out, he splits the $2 million with Big Al, the 643 00:37:30,650 --> 00:37:34,509 con man. Wait, wait, who is Big Al? Mr. Phelps. Well, so now you say it couldn't 644 00:37:34,510 --> 00:37:38,120 be Big Al. Well, not if it's a flake, it couldn't. Hey, I got such a headache. 645 00:37:39,110 --> 00:37:43,309 Look, I don't care if it is the flake or if it's the bartender or if it's your 646 00:37:43,310 --> 00:37:44,360 guy or if it's her guy. 647 00:37:44,361 --> 00:37:49,709 Explain. Go on home and come back to this thing with a fresh attitude 648 00:37:49,710 --> 00:37:50,760 morning. Yes, sir. 649 00:37:51,490 --> 00:37:54,500 And at which time I would like to hear some straight answers. 650 00:37:54,950 --> 00:37:56,210 Yes, sir. Aye, Lieutenant. 651 00:38:02,990 --> 00:38:05,030 He's a kicker. Yeah. 652 00:38:06,170 --> 00:38:09,090 Yeah, more than the other two. This one likes to work out. 653 00:38:12,990 --> 00:38:14,040 Harvey? Hmm? 654 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:17,520 You really want another boy? 655 00:38:18,980 --> 00:38:22,160 I don't know. I haven't thought much about it. 656 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,420 You keep saying him. 657 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:25,930 It's habit. 658 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,100 I love whatever we have. 659 00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:30,150 Yeah, I know. 660 00:38:32,580 --> 00:38:36,280 I just wonder sometimes what it would be like to have a little girl. 661 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,090 Different? 662 00:38:38,820 --> 00:38:43,540 I saw a little girl in the park the other day. 663 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:46,690 Little doll. 664 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,680 And she had a dress about that big. 665 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,740 My father was putting her on the carousel. Made me think about you. 666 00:38:56,100 --> 00:38:57,150 It did? 667 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:58,900 Yeah, the way he looked at her. 668 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,950 Like she was the most precious thing in all the world. 669 00:39:05,660 --> 00:39:08,370 I thought about you looking at our daughter like that. 670 00:39:09,860 --> 00:39:11,480 Daughter, huh? Might be nice. 671 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:13,850 Whole new ballgame. 672 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,760 Yeah. Good night, baby. 673 00:39:19,980 --> 00:39:21,180 Good night, sweetheart. 674 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:22,730 Good night, baby. 675 00:39:38,140 --> 00:39:40,340 You're sexy when you're pregnant. Yes. 676 00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:43,540 You mean it. 677 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,040 More cleavage, more stuff. 678 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,740 Yeah, more of everything. 679 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,440 More the merrier. 680 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,640 Harvey, stop that. 681 00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,650 In a while. 682 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:10,120 You know what's wrong here? 683 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,310 We've been looking for two master for you. What do you mean? 684 00:40:13,660 --> 00:40:17,679 Well, look, it was the first time that a lottery ticket had been forged so well 685 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:18,919 it could be detected, right? 686 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:23,339 Right. Okay, so what are the odds that on the same lottery, a second ticket 687 00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:25,510 would be forged with the same perfection? 688 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,390 Two master forges at the same time? That bothers me. 689 00:40:29,220 --> 00:40:30,780 Yeah, but what are our choices? 690 00:40:31,540 --> 00:40:33,650 I don't know, but it doesn't seem logical. 691 00:40:33,651 --> 00:40:35,699 Guess who finessed the afternoon off? 692 00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:38,830 Oh, please don't bore us with your hot dates, okay, Mr. Beggin? 693 00:40:38,860 --> 00:40:41,000 No, I am going to the dog show. 694 00:40:41,860 --> 00:40:43,060 You're going to be in it? 695 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,160 Yeah, a Dolman fanny pincher. 696 00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:48,540 Go ahead, you two laugh. 697 00:40:48,900 --> 00:40:50,580 But who's got the afternoon off? 698 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:01,020 Cocker Spaniels! 699 00:41:01,380 --> 00:41:02,960 Christine! That's it! 700 00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:06,979 Mary Beth, that's the connection we've been looking for. The old guy and Quad, 701 00:41:06,980 --> 00:41:08,540 they both have Cocker Spaniels. 702 00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,300 Oh, that's good, Christine. 703 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,239 We can go write the grand jury with that. I am telling you, Mary Beth, they 704 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:16,100 have show dogs. You spelled it wrong. 705 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:20,179 Can't you find your depth yet? No, no, no. It is not one of I -B -I -T -E 706 00:41:20,180 --> 00:41:23,840 industries. It's one of I -B -Y -T -E industries. You know, like the 707 00:41:23,841 --> 00:41:27,259 Yeah, a friend of mine who bought stock told him it was stupid, but wouldn't 708 00:41:27,260 --> 00:41:28,259 listen to me. 709 00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:29,310 Computers. 710 00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:30,770 That's it. 711 00:41:30,980 --> 00:41:32,030 Claude is in... What? 712 00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:36,899 Claude is into computers. What if he tapped into the lottery's computer and 713 00:41:36,900 --> 00:41:37,950 dumped the memory? 714 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,320 Huh? Exactly. Didn't you see War Game? 715 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,010 Who are you? 716 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,140 Come on, let's go. 717 00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:48,000 Mary Beth, come on, let's go. Hurry up. Fine, okay. I'm coming. 718 00:41:48,660 --> 00:41:49,710 Where? 719 00:41:57,340 --> 00:42:00,680 This is the first call for Old English Sheepdogs. 720 00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:05,800 Old English Sheepdogs, your grade is to be judged in ring three. 721 00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:09,420 I had no idea dog shows were this big a deal. 722 00:42:10,170 --> 00:42:13,669 Oh, yeah, this is a big deal annual show. Which means it was held at the 723 00:42:13,670 --> 00:42:14,770 same time last year. 724 00:42:15,250 --> 00:42:16,870 Same time as the lottery drawing. 725 00:42:17,190 --> 00:42:18,240 Christine? 726 00:42:23,490 --> 00:42:24,540 Oh. 727 00:42:29,310 --> 00:42:30,360 Mr. Sycamore? 728 00:42:31,110 --> 00:42:32,210 Hello there, Mr. 729 00:42:32,470 --> 00:42:33,790 Sycamore. You remember us? 730 00:42:33,830 --> 00:42:36,750 Hi. Hi. What are you two doing here? Oh. 731 00:42:37,260 --> 00:42:39,120 Sally. Hiya, girl. 732 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,060 Hey, how you doing? 733 00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,080 Very best. Sally has a new friend. 734 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:53,420 Hiya, Maxie. Oh, you know Maxie? Oh, yes. 735 00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:54,910 We've met. 736 00:42:55,260 --> 00:42:56,310 Going down? 737 00:43:00,420 --> 00:43:02,920 You know what was throwing us? 738 00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:07,340 We kept looking for... two master forgers, each with one perfect forgery. 739 00:43:08,020 --> 00:43:11,879 Silly. There never were two master forgers. There was one master forger, 740 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,999 made two tickets. Am I right, sir? You and Carstairs met here last year. We 741 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,379 checked. We know you were both here. And the two of you came up with the idea. 742 00:43:19,380 --> 00:43:21,519 He makes the perfect ticket with a winning number. 743 00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:25,259 You use your computer to dump the lottery computer's memory. Then you 744 00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:27,970 the winning ticket, and the computer can't verify it. 745 00:43:29,060 --> 00:43:30,110 Fascinating theory. 746 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,250 Isn't it? 747 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,940 We just talked. with Mr. Carstairs at Rikers. 748 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:37,300 Oh, we did? 749 00:43:37,540 --> 00:43:38,590 Yes, sir, we did. 750 00:43:38,940 --> 00:43:39,990 Uh, Sycamore? 751 00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:42,000 And he was very informative. 752 00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:44,970 He told us that he didn't get much out of the split. 753 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,610 It seems that you use most of the funds by yourself. 754 00:43:47,611 --> 00:43:51,159 Alimony and gambling debts, that computer company of yours. 755 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,360 Wasn't much left for him. 756 00:43:52,361 --> 00:43:55,799 And he couldn't exactly come to the police about it now, could he, sir? How 757 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:56,850 doing? Pretty good. 758 00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,160 Yeah, he was a little cranky about it. Well, then. 759 00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:04,280 But I never thought he'd forge another ticket. 760 00:44:06,890 --> 00:44:07,940 Maxim, 761 00:44:08,490 --> 00:44:09,540 Maxim. 762 00:44:09,570 --> 00:44:10,730 Fingered by a pole. 763 00:44:11,210 --> 00:44:12,260 You know what? 764 00:44:13,470 --> 00:44:16,430 Here. Oh, oh, oh, don't run here. 765 00:44:17,430 --> 00:44:18,730 All right, come on. 766 00:44:18,950 --> 00:44:20,210 Has security filled yet? 767 00:44:20,490 --> 00:44:22,960 I'm the cops. How can I get in touch with security? 768 00:44:24,250 --> 00:44:25,890 Watch it. Excuse me. 769 00:44:27,610 --> 00:44:29,310 Police. Coming through. 770 00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:30,720 I'm very sorry. 771 00:44:31,270 --> 00:44:34,130 Pardon me, sir. I got a badge here somewhere. 772 00:44:38,730 --> 00:44:43,390 I'm very good. Excuse me, sir. 773 00:44:43,830 --> 00:44:44,930 Thank you. Sorry, dog. 774 00:44:46,730 --> 00:44:48,370 He does have great lines. 775 00:44:48,670 --> 00:44:49,720 Gee. 776 00:44:50,570 --> 00:44:52,650 Oh, believe me, Lisa, I do know that. 777 00:44:54,630 --> 00:44:56,150 Hang on, hang on. 778 00:44:57,890 --> 00:44:59,490 Oh, nice doggy. 779 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,650 Be right back. 780 00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:10,600 Police! Coming through! 781 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:16,570 Okay! 782 00:45:16,571 --> 00:45:21,379 Hasn't made it to an exit. None of my men have spotted him. Well, keep 783 00:45:21,380 --> 00:45:22,430 sir. 784 00:45:34,020 --> 00:45:37,870 Hey, lady, you better do something about these dogs. What do you want me to do? 785 00:45:37,871 --> 00:45:38,639 Oh, terrific. 786 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:39,690 Oh, come on. 787 00:46:15,910 --> 00:46:17,110 I took them. 788 00:46:17,430 --> 00:46:18,480 You did? 789 00:46:18,550 --> 00:46:19,600 What for? 790 00:46:29,510 --> 00:46:31,290 Three days, fought and paid for. 791 00:46:32,370 --> 00:46:33,420 You're kidding. 792 00:46:40,060 --> 00:46:43,670 I opened an account at the bank this morning. It was going to be a surprise. 793 00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:48,850 Baby Lacey. 794 00:46:50,220 --> 00:46:51,420 Harvey, you're the best. 795 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,120 It's one of those special deals. 796 00:46:53,420 --> 00:46:57,210 You can't get your money back without substantial forfeiture and all that 797 00:46:57,211 --> 00:47:01,959 But, Harvey, the trip is not refundable either. Yeah, the check's going to 798 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,010 bound. 799 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,040 You know what this is like? 800 00:47:06,460 --> 00:47:08,120 This is just like that story. 801 00:47:09,220 --> 00:47:11,680 Where she sells her hair and he sells his watch. 802 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,260 Oh, no, baby. Hey, we'll borrow two payday. It'll be okay. 803 00:47:15,261 --> 00:47:18,919 No, it's just that you bought me what I wanted and I bought you what you wanted 804 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,750 and it's so romantic, Harvey. I always want what you want. 805 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,750 Yeah? You really wanted to take me to the mountains for a romantic weekend? 806 00:47:25,751 --> 00:47:28,719 Even when I'm pregnant, I feel like a whale. 807 00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:29,770 Yes. 808 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,050 Oh, Harvey. 809 00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:33,120 Oh, God, I love you, Mary Beth. 810 00:47:34,491 --> 00:47:36,589 Yeah? 811 00:47:36,590 --> 00:47:41,140 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0